The Flat Cap on ... Sofas
Today The Flat Cap has been visiting a large reputable furniture store in search of a new sofa, as well as speaking to “those in the know” to get the lowdown on what is big in the living room.
Furniture stores are a bit like used car lots, where the vast majority of people have absolutely no intention of making a purchase and are just off for a day out. Old people in particular like to sit on settees and compare the merits of fabric against leather, corner sofas against straight ones and whether bolster cushions or scatter cushions are better for your posture.
Chesterfield sofas are so named because at the last census 46% of people in Chesterfield owned one. Although this might be partly down to the fact that people living in the area are eligible for grants not available to those in other parts of the United Kingdom. It is the sofa industry equivalent of “right to buy” and means that there is always going to be a ready market for Chesterfields.
The Flat Cap spoke to a store assistant called Winston who was able to provide some interesting facts:
7% of people will go through life never owning a sofa
1 in 88 families got their last sofa from a skip
Corner sofas fit in the corner better than two straight ones put at right angles to each other
The best way to avoid stains to your sofa is to leave the packaging on or failing that keep your pants on whilst having a play
Most sofa delivery drivers smoke roll ups
Nests of tables that accompany sofas get their name because they are largely made out of wood, which comes from trees, which is where a lot of birds make their nests
The closest thing to a sofa museum is the Sofia Museum in Madrid, Spain. It is largely dedicated to Spanish art. An ice cream from a street vendor outside will cost you €2
The average loose change lost down the back of a sofa is £6.92
It would take a Nigerian railway worker almost four years to save up for a pouffe
And finally….. In 2012 David Blaine was strapped to a second hand sofa and suspended 380 feet in the air. He survived for nine days only by eating an old packet of custard creams left behind by the previous owner. So always check for out of date comestibles before buying from charity shops.